James Potter tries to get Lily Evans
by MissDifferent
Summary: James Potter tries to get Lily Evans with PICK-UP lines. But Lily is wittier then he thinks.  Read and Find out what funny comebacks she found.
1. Chapter 1

James Potter tries to get Lily Evans.  
>By MissDifferent<p>

Summery: James' best pick-up lines. Tried on Lily, of course.

**A/N: Hey, HEY, HEEEY! This was a little idea I had not THAT long ago… Will thou tell me what line thou prefer? Thank thou very much.**

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"Lily dearest?"

"Yes James?"

"Life without you would be like a broken pencil...pointless"

"I have a pencil sharpener if you want." *gives sharpener*

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"Lil, if looks could kill you would be a weapon of mass destruction."

"Yeah and I'd kill you first."

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"I may not be a genie but I can make your dreams come true."

"Really? You're leaving then James?"

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"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."

"Aha, I'd put F with U."

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"I'm like chocolate pudding, I look like crap but im as sweet as can be."

"Happy you realized!"

"What, that I'm sweat?"

"No, that you look like crap."

"Hey, that _hurt_!"

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"I'm invisible."

"Right I know James. You have your cloak on."

"W-what? Oh" *takes cloak off* "You were supposed to say 'Really?'"

"Oh, did I blow your thing?"

"Nope, but you can if you want"

"Ugh. Go die James."

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"You can fall off a building, you can fall out a tree, but baby, the best way to fall is in love with me."

"Eh, I think I'll fall out the tree."

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"I have never had a dream come true until the day that I met you."

"I have never had a nightmare come true until the day I met you."

"Liiiily, that's mean:"

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"I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So wanna go out?"

"If I say no, will you get a rash, hyperventilate and die?"

"Umm… I guess."

"Okay then. NO, NO, NO, NO!"

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"Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no."

"Yes."

"Really?"

"No." *Snickers*

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"I hope your day is as radiant as your smile."

"It was until you came and I started scowling."

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"Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home."

"WHAT the HELL James? Did Sirius give you that line?"

" Yep."

"I could kiss him sometimes."

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"I must be a snowflake, 'cuz I've fallen for you."

"James, its _JUNE_. It doesn't snow in JUNE."

"Oh."

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"What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper."

"I really needed to know that… anyway, were _is_ your incredible hulk? I can't say I thought you'd have the utensils needed."

"Ow Lily, of course I have them. Want me to prove it?"

"… go away."

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"Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?"

"James, we are home."

"Yeah, I know…"

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"What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?"

"What does it feel like to be the most ugly guy in this room?"

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"You got something on your chest: my eyes"

"No James, it's called a bra."

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"You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche."

"James, you don't HAVE a Porsche."

"Psssht, don't ruin my lines!"

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"Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you."

"Didn't you fall because you got tripped in the stairs by Sirius?"

"Hmm, yeah that too."

"He. Hehe."

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"Is your last name Gillette cause you're the best a man can get."

"No, my name is Lily but I'm still the best a man can get." *Smirks*

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"Is this seat empty?"

"Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

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"Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?"

"Not near as bad as when you hit planet rejection."

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"Do you have a map, I got lost in your eyes."

"I actually do, you know, the marauder's map… want it back?"

"Wait, YOU have it? I thought I lost it! How did you get it?"

"I asked Remus…"

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"Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night."

"Not near as tired as when I get through running away from you."

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"I'm a photographer and I've been looking for a face like yours."

"I'm a plastic surgeon and I've been looking for a face like yours."

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"James, JAMES!"

"What?"

"Do you know what'd look good on you? Me."

"Are you flirting with me?"

"Maybe…"

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><p><strong>AN: So… what do you think?**

**Read, Alert, Favourite, Flame, review.. Do what you want! **

**xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Tada, some more fun with awesome pick-up lines!**

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"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

"James, honey, I've been seeing you every day for the last several years, isn't it a bit to late?"

"Yeah… might be."

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"If I followed you home, would you keep me?"

"Nope, I'd call you a stalker and hex you."

"Oh."

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"Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?"

"No, they hurt from running away from you all day."

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"What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot!"

"James, its raining."

"Pssht ignore that, pretend it's sunny."

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"I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you!"

"Wanna start now?"

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"Bond...James Bond"

"I thought you were a Potter, James… looks like I was wrong."

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"Are you an overdue book? Because you've got FINE written all over you!"

"No _Bond_ I'm not a ruddy book, I'm your _Girlfriend!_"

"I'm not BOND! And, and… what? You're my girlfriend? Really?"

"Yeah, of course if you want me, that is…"

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"I have Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?"

"James, what the _HELL_?"

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"That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?"

"James, should I reject that nice-ly or…?"

"Nicely should do the trick."

"okay, NO WAY!"

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"If I had a garden I'd put your tulips and my tulips together."

"Aww… that one is nearly cute enough to reconsider my refusal, ALMOST!"

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"You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everyone we did anyway!"

"If you do that, I'll hex you. A LOT. And I'll look for especially painful one."

"Uh, Oh."

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"Do you like bananas or blueberries? "

"What?"

"I wanna know what kind of pancakes to make in the morning."

"James, does that mean you're going to cook?"

"Nah, house elves!"

"He. Hehe."

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"You have 206 bones in your body. Do you want another one?"

"What James? Did you steal Poppies Skele-gro?"

"Are you stupid?"

"Nope, just rejecting you nicely."

"Oh."

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"I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle!"

"JAMES!"

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"Did u get that body at mcdonalds? becos 'im lovin it'."

"Really? REALLY JAMES? How do you know what Mcdonalds is?"

"Eh, I have my ways…" *Winks*

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"Do you have a mirror in your pocket? cause i swear i see myself in your pants!"

"James. SHUT. UP. You are NOT getting into my pants, bed, mouth…"

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*Rubs Lily's back* "I thought angles had wings."

"Mine fell off, thanks for the compliment though!"

*pecks cheek*

"Uuuh…."

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"you're as beautiful as Cinderella. I could be your fairy godmother."

"What James?"

"I can change anything with my magic stick"

"So can I James, that's what WANDS are for…"

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"Are you from SpongeBob? Because I would like to visit your Bikini Bottom."

"James….Please. If you want kisses just TELL me."

"I want kisses?"

"Forget it."

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"I'm not going to hit on you that wouldn't be cool and I'm not that kind of guy. See those guys over there (points at Sirius) they said I wasn't brave enough to ask a pretty girl like you for a kiss . So can you do me a favor and give me a small kiss? Please?"

"James… That was cute."

"Really?"

*Kisses*

"Yes."

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"I LOST MY TEDDY BEAR, WILL YOU SLEEP WITH ME?"

"You have a Teddy Bear?"

"N-no."

"HEY SIRIUS, JAMES HAS A TEDDY-BEAR!"

"NO I DON'T!"

"YOU DO!"

"NOT!"

"DO!"

"NOT!"

*Kisses*

"N-not... Wait."

*Kisses.*

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><p><strong>AN: Aww. Cute. Fluffy rubbish.  
>review? Flame? Alert? Favourite? You choose!<strong>

**Love all my little reviewers and all my little friends who have favourited and Alerted my story. I LOOOVVE YOU! I'm even tempted to use a pick up line on you. I'm going to spare your sanity though.**

**xxx**


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